Grant Me the Serenity

by Rev. Terry Davis 

Delivered at Northwest Unitarian Universalist

Congregation on June 2 2013

Men and women representing many faith traditions or none at all recite it. Gathered in rooms in church basements, community centers or clubhouses – in locations throughout the U.S. and around the world – they can be found responding to the invitation offered in the opening words of an Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous or other 12-step meeting . . . an invitation that goes “Please join me in a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer.”

The Serenity Prayer in its most familiar form is what is printed on the cover of your Order of Service:

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

It is a prayer for inner peace, a prayer for willingness to take bold action when needed, and a prayer for clarity to recognize when that action may be needed. It’s a prayer that assumes that human beings are capable of exercising wise and courageous judgment, although its author would later come to believe that these moral decisions were not possible without Divine aid.

As described in Nick’s reading, the American minister who penned it did so at a time when nations were being confronted with unthinkable moral dilemmas that challenged his beliefs about the inherent goodness of humanity.

In my sermon to you this morning, I want to examine the heart of this familiar and simple prayer for peace, courage and clarity. Whether or not you believe that God’s grace must be petitioned for the willingness to follow its advice, I do believe that the Serenity Prayer offers us a simple and powerful daily spiritual discipline. It invites us to pause in the present moment, to consider the challenges of the present circumstances, and to take action or non-action guided by that which we believe to be our highest source of Truth.

As author Elisabeth Sifton suggests, the meaning and power of this ageless prayer “is bound up in the war against one of the greatest evils posed during a violently evil century.”^[1] It is a prayer that reflects the changing theology of a Protestant minister and intellectual who believed he was witnessing the limitations of his liberal theology as he tried to make sense of the rise of Nazi Germany and what he felt was the grossly inadequate response to it on the part of the United States and his fellow Christian religious leaders.

The author of the Serenity Prayer, Rev. Reinhold Niebuhr, was a pastor, social activist and professor of practical theology at Union Theological Seminary in New York City. He had emerged from the horrors of World War I as a staunch pacifist and member of the Socialist Party of America, and was an outspoken supporter of autoworkers’ rights in Detroit, Michigan.

Niebuhr was among the group of 51 prominent Americans who formed the International Relief Association that is today known as the International Rescue Committee, whose mission was to assist Germans suffering from the policies of the Hitler regime.

As Niebuhr witnessed the Nazi regime grow in power and prominence, he became more agitated by the lack of response among some of his Protestant and Catholic colleagues and his government leaders. He also saw where his liberal faith and belief in the prevalence of human goodness and reason fell short.

As Unitarian Universalists, it’s worthy to note that during this time, our most renowned 20^th century theologian and social ethicist shared Niebuhr’s view.

Unitarian Theologian and Harvard professor Rev. James Luther Adams argued that the “given” nature of humanity’s propensity toward destruction as tragically demonstrated by history proves that what he called Old Liberalism’s “lopsided optimism” – which has relied on the theory that human rationalism can overcome the world’s ills and evils – is not realistic.^[2] So, Niebuhr had other allies who saw the shortcomings of liberal theology’s indiscriminate optimism.

As the evils of Nazism persisted and grew worse, Niebuhr’s theology began to move in a different direction . . . one that led him to conclude that there could be no such thing as heaven on earth because of the innate corrupt tendencies of human beings and the societies they created.^[3] Human sin, Niebuhr concluded, was a formidable reality, and human action and reason could never conquer it.

It was this belief that led Niebuhr to formulate the Serenity Prayer in 1937 as a petition for God’s grace to help us act with clarity and courage in the world. In fact, according to author Elisabeth Sifton (who is a publishing executive and editor, as well as Reinhold Niebuhr’s daughter), the earliest version of the Serenity Prayer read:

God, give us the grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed

the courage to change the things that should be changed

and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other.

So, what can we as Unitarian Universalists with a wide range of understandings about God and the notion of prayer . . . what can we make of the Serenity Prayer? If not understood as a petition, could it be of value as a spiritual practice . . . a practice that, when faced with a challenging decision or circumstance when faced with a difficult decision or circumstance, invites us to go deep within and consult our true motives and worst fears?

Sifton believes that the Serenity Prayer’s instructions “are tremendously difficult and puzzling to follow.”^[4] Why is this so?

I think the answer to that question lies in unpacking the prayer, line by line, starting with the first “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” When we are deeply troubled by something – something that seems unfair and unlikely to change – finding the serenity to accept it seems quite impossible.

Serious illness, untimely deaths, seeing a loved one struggle with self-defeating behavior – how do we accept these situations with peace of mind and calmness of spirit? And, what about the social injustices we see all around us that seem insurmountable, like poverty, racial oppression and violence? Of course we shouldn’t stand by and do nothing.

So, when is practicing acceptance good for self and society and when does it become spiritual and moral apathy? If we are people of action, as our Unitarian Universalist tradition encourages us to be, then perhaps a rule of thumb might be that matters involving individual freedoms almost always offer an opportunity for acceptance, whereas matters involving social justice almost never do.

Consider, for example, our Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations’ key justice priorities, which include economic, environmental, reproductive and immigration justice; multiculturalism and racial justice; and gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer equality. Could we really see ourselves sitting on the sidelines of these issues in the name of acceptance and still call ourselves Unitarian Universalists? Of course not!

Conversely, our Third Principle, which calls us to affirm and promote “acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations” absolutely suggests that we bring to matters of theological and philosophical diversity an attitude of radical love and open-mindedness to our diverse religious community. We could not call ourselves UUs otherwise.

This leads me to the next line of the Serenity Prayer, which is “the courage to change the things I can.” In Niebuhr’s time, he was looking for persons and nations to stand up to the tyranny of fascism, capitalism and interventionism. He spoke out against Nazi Germany, against the Detroit auto industry, and against U.S. involvement in the Viet Nam War.

Not all of Niebuhr’s acts of courage to “change the things I can” were guided by the notion that matters involving individual freedoms almost always offer an opportunity for acceptance whereas matters involving social justice almost never do.

As an example, by the 1950s, Niebuhr described Senator Joseph McCarthy as a force of evil, not so much for attacking civil liberties, as for being ineffective in rooting out Communists and their sympathizers. And, yet, he later became a fierce supporter of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. at a time when many Protestant clergy were waiting for the courts to decide the matters of segregation and civil rights. In fact, Dr. King attributed his own non-violent posture more to the influence of Niebuhr than to the example of Gandhi.^[5]

As Unitarian Universalists who strive to live our faith by deeds, not creeds, we have opportunities to change the things we can every day. Some of our courageous actions can be towards undoing unjust laws such as the Federal prohibition of same-sex marriage or to put protections in place, such as legislation to help end bullying of students. And, some of our courageous action can be in our own personal lives, such as changing our behavior towards ourselves and others and acting with love and forgiveness.

At Northwest, for example, I’m aware that the Board of Trustees would like to see this congregation adopt a Covenant of Right Relations. A Covenant of Right Relations is simply a promise we make to one another on how we will treat each other and address conflicts when they occur. It helps maintain an environment of trust, giving all members a sense of “where the boundaries are” when it comes to acceptable and unacceptable ways of speaking with and treating each other.

As we continue to grow, there will likely be more points of conflict between us – not because bigger congregations fight more, but simply because there are more people who are trying to build relationships with one another, exchange ideas, and have impact. As we grow, “the courage to change the things we can” might involve Northwest re-examining who it is and what opportunities and challenges being bigger will present as it attempts to build on its strengths in new ways.

The last line of the Serenity Prayer – “the wisdom to know the difference” – is perhaps the most difficult part of all. Elisabeth Sifton argues that it may very well be the most puzzling part of the prayer . . . and the part that specifically puts the responsibility for discernment on our own shoulders. She writes:

And, then – wisdom! The prayer says nothing about the moment of discernment when, if we are wise, we shall see which category is which. How do we tell? Most prayers thank the Almighty for having bestowed understanding, wisdom, and good fortune upon the faithful.  Or, they imply that the religious commitment itself, or God Himself – higher powers, anyway – will somehow generate the wisdom we mere mortals need to get on with life.

But (she continues) this prayer does not. Many prayers in many faiths petition God to show the way to right action. But this prayer only asks for wisdom to discern the right way on our own. It presumes that it’s within our powers to accomplish this. Still, it is a prayer, and I cannot imagine its message in a different mode.^[6]

Sifton’s remarks about the nature of prayer may be troubling for those of us who may have traditionally thought of prayer as praying to something or someone outside of ourselves. If we don’t believe in a transcendent God or a higher power, then how do we understand the Serenity Prayer? What is the difference between praying for acceptance, courage and wisdom and thinking about these virtues?

If I expand the definition of prayer to include the possibility that prayer helps sensitize me to my highest aspirations . . . that prayer infuses my best thinking with a balance of hope and humility . . . that prayer is not about to whom my words are directed but about how I feel as I am meditating upon them . . . then it seems that the Serenity Prayer (with or without the address to God) may offer each of us a rich spiritual practice.

It offers us the chance to ground our daily thoughts and deeds in moments of deep reflection . . . moments where we can examine our options and consider whether the best interest of others calls for action or non-action on our part. It calls us to be our best selves and to recognize that discernment is both a privilege and responsibility.

As we go from here, may we consider the invitation the Serenity Prayer offers us – at times to find the peace of mind and calmness of spirit to accept life’s unwanted outcomes, at other times to find our courage to do uncomfortable and frightening things that change the status quo, and at all times to reach for highest source of wisdom to know the difference.

May it be so. Amen.