Dear Friends,
Years ago I attended an international 12-step convention in New Orleans. At one of the break-out sessions, we were discussing the topic of acceptance. An elderly man named Arnie was one of the facilitators.
He first told us a corny joke – that he was advised never to sit in the “shoe department” at a recovery meeting (which is in the back of the room with the slippers and the loafers,badda bing, badda boom!), but, rather, to take a chair in the front and engage with what’s going on. That’s how you get better, he said.
Arnie then shared something much more profound that I also have never forgotten. Arnie said that his spiritual mentor advised him when he felt like life was crowding in from all directions to simply do the “N.I.T.”, which stands for the next indicated thing. The N.I.T. can be anything from making a peanut butter sandwich for lunch to getting gas for the car to having a difficult conversation with a friend or colleague. The point was, said Arnie is that when things start feeling complicated, focusing on doing the next indicated thingwas a way we could ground ourselves in the now, take care of what needed to be done, and let go of the outcomes.
The N.I.T. (which Arnie pronounced as “nit”) was a way of staying fully engaged with our lives and ourselves, even when we were struggling with fear and uncertainty.
This is one of those times in my life when Arnie’s words are coming back to me daily, sometimes hourly. As some of you know, our dog Leo started one-hour daily radiation treatments this past week for cancer – which means either Gail or I need take him back and forth each day until June 24. In addition, our other dog Lucy was diagnosed yesterday with congestive heart failure and also needs more care.
I have to admit that all of this has not been terribly convenient and has created extra stress in our lives. And, yet, Arnie’s words remind me that life will get complicated when I least expect it . . . and it will smooth out again in unexpected ways, too. I love my pets and I know the right thing to do is the next indicated thing – which is to be a good caregiver and trust that my other responsibilities will get done as they need to.
So, it’s 3:00 pm in the afternoon and I’ve just returned with Leo from the vet, where I conducted a few conference calls from my cell phone in one of the waiting rooms away from the barking clientele. I made a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and am writing this article from my kitchen counter rather than from my desk at the office. I’ll press “send” in a few minutes, go get gas for the car, and head over to Northwest for some late afternoon and evening meetings.
It all seems to be working out okay today. All I had to do was stay out of the shoe department, remain engaged with my life’s, and remember to do the N.I.T.
Just like Arnie said.
Yours,
Terry