Dear Friends,
On Monday, I paid a visit to my friend and spiritual mentor Margaret, who was in the hospital recovering from surgery. Margaret and I have had a standing phone call on Sunday evenings at 8:30 pm for almost ten years now. I make the call, and Margaret does the listening . . . a lot of listening. I generally share about what is happening in my everyday life and where I may be struggling. We might stay on the phone 30 minutes or an hour. I always feel grounded and ready for the week after our calls.
I have found Margaret to be a great companion on my spiritual journey over the years . . . not because of the advice she dispenses, but because she wisely chooses not to give me advice. Instead, she invites me to open up by being present, by listening, and by asking clarifying questions. She does what Quaker Writer and Educator Parker Palmer describes as “making space for the shy soul to appear” by refraining from “fixing, advising, saving, or setting the record straight.”
Monday it was my turn to return the favor. Thinking I would hear a general report on her surgery, Margaret instead informed me that she learned that she has Stage 3 cancer. Lying in the hospital bed with a sapphire blue shawl over her shoulders, she calmly described the next steps – first, time to heal from her procedure and then chemotherapy. Her voice was tired, and her blue eyes were wide as she told me these things. And, all I could do in that moment was hold her hand, listen to her news as it tumbled out, and tell her that I loved her.
On Monday, the tables turned. It’s time now for Margaret to have a steady listening companion in me – perhaps every Sunday evening at 8:30 pm, if that is what she needs.
I pray that she has taught me well.
Yours,
Terry