Dear Friends,
If you have ever watched a dog chase its tail, you know how funny that can be. However, when I catch myself doing the same thing, it isn’t so humorous.
Today was one of those days when I felt like I was running in circles. My Achilles’ heel is overcommitting on projects and under-estimating the amount of time I need to get them all done. I found myself racing from meetings to deadlines to e-mails, falling behind schedule, getting things half accomplished, and not feeling good about any of it.
Oh, I forgot that the Northwest parking lot was being paved! That meant rushing to park my car at the Mt. Vernon Baptist Church down the street and hustling up the road to Northwest on foot with a heavy computer bag slung over my shoulders (why do I always carry so many books?). Oh, the newsletter deadline was yesterday . . . really? That meant finding some additional time to write an article that I hadn’t counted on.
By the time I left the office this evening, I was frustrated and frazzled – not exactly projecting the “non-anxious presence” that I was trained to do in seminary and by my mentors.
Overdoing it is definitely my weak spot. And, as the Greek myth about the demigod Achilles reveals, weak spots can be our undoing. As one version of the story goes, Achilles was just a baby when his mother Thetis dipped him in the River Styx to give him the power of invulnerability. But as Thetis held Achilles by the heel, this is the one place where his body was not washed over by the magical river’s water. And, it was precisely in Achilles’ vulnerable heel where a poisonous arrow lodged itself years later during a battle, which killed him.
Unlike Achilles, however, most of us – myself included – have the opportunity to live on and learn from our weak spots. Instead of berating myself for trying to do too much, I can embrace this familiar vulnerability of mine. I have come to think of it as what my chaplaincy supervisor used to call a “primitive behavior” – something I learned long ago as a way to take care of myself and overcome my insecurities.
My supervisor said instead of criticizing myself, I could simply befriend my over-functioning behavior when it returned, thank it for its past usefulness, and encourage it to leave a little more quickly this time around. I found his suggestion to be a novel approach . . . and when I remember to use it, it helps me get back to a place of calm acceptance.
I think it’s safe to say that most people and organizations have Achilles’ heels that show up at the most inconvenient times. Rather than be discouraged or fighting them like the enemy, I believe we can recognize our weak spots for what they are – a time to experience humility and practice self-forgiveness. In this way, I’m hopeful that Achilles’ heels can keep us on the path of growth and more inner peace.
May it be so for you and for me.
Warmly,
Terry
Rev. Terry Davis