by Rev. Terry Davis
Delivered to Northwest Unitarian Universalist Congregation on December 8, 2013
My earliest introduction to the concept of courage is one you may share. It was when I first watched the movie The Wonderful Wizard of Oz on TV and met the character the Cowardly Lion. A giant cat with a Brooklyn accent, the Cowardly Lion as most of us know lived his life ruled by fear.
The Cowardly Lion was afraid of everything. He believed that courage was something he utterly lacked in his life. Only when faced with the prospect of rescuing his friend Dorothy from the Wicked Witch, did the Lion begin to demonstrate what it means to “feel the fear, but do it anyway,” a modern slogan that is one definition of courage.
Something about courage that I didn’t fully understand then and still have trouble remembering today is that practicing personal courage and feeling very uncomfortable always go together. It seems that living a life of courage will always ask us to go outside of our comfort zone, which is the topic of today’s sermon.
We might agree that being courageous is about being willing to risk a measure of security – to step outside the comfort zone – in exchange for something that we believe will reward us emotionally, physically or spiritually. Maya Angelou wrote that courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you cannot practice any other virtue consistently.
If this is true, then it seems to me that stepping outside the comfort zone is not only an act of courage, but is also necessary to a deeply meaningful spiritual life. We cannot be comfortable . . . we cannot play it safe . . . if we hope to grow in faith, love, compassion, humility, acceptance or any other spiritual or moral virtue. Like the Cowardly Lion, we will likely need to feel our deepest fears and fight the wicked witches of our lives anyway if we are to grow and the world is to heal.
And, unlike in the Land of Oz, our wicked witches don’t come with green skin or flying brooms. Rather, our real-life witches will possibly show up as fear of leaving a job or ending a relationship that no longer works for us. Our witches may take more subtle forms in our lives, such as a feeling of resignation, lethargy and low self-esteem. Whatever our witches . . . whatever our fears . . . we can recognize them by their ability to disconnect us from our humor, our spirit, our creative energy, and the light and lives of others.
When we talk about stepping outside of the comfort zone, what are we actually describing? While the origin of the term “comfort zone” is hard to determine, British Management Theorist Alasdair White offers a clinical definition. He writes:
The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.
White affirms laboratory research from a century ago that up to a certain point, increased anxiety will actually boost a person’s performance, which he refers to as operating in the Optimal Performance Zone.
On the other hand, White says that too much anxiety will rapidly decrease performance. White says whether there is just the right amount of stress or too much of it, in either instance stress will force a person to decide either to step outside of the comfort zone and try new behaviors, or find ways to reduce the stress and stay inside one’s mental boundaries of security.
In our reflection this morning, it seems that Sarah Beth’s decision to play the guitar and sing at an English pub was her way of responding to the anxiety she felt of being asked to do something new. In her case, she chose to step out of the comfort zone.
Sarah Beth didn’t say directly what prompted her to try out her new guitar-playing skills and experience the anxiety produced by her lack of confidence in her singing. But it is easy to imagine that she must have believed that there was some higher good that was worth the discomfort.
She may have desired a greater sense of belonging and connection with the people at Ancient House Museum. She may have believed that the positive feelings of volunteering in this way would outweigh the fear she had of performing in public. Whatever the reason, Sarah Beth and her husband John ultimately created a meaningful connection with another ex-pat, as well as evidence that sometimes moving towards –not away from – anxiety can have very positive outcomes.
In that moment, it seems that Sarah Beth not only stepped outside of her comfort zone, she stepped into the zone where the magic happens … where hope, faith and an experience of community enter into our lives in a more profound way. And, if we’re on a journey of personal growth and meaning-making – as many of us here are – perhaps then we must seriously consider what it might mean to our spiritual and emotional well-being if we were to repeatedly move away from people and opportunities because they create a sense of anxiety for us.
If we look at our own faith tradition, we can see that Unitarian Universalism was founded and expanded by men and women of faith who courageously and repeatedly stepped outside of the comfort zone. They challenged what they felt were uninspiring and exclusive doctrines and practices to create a liberal religion that today still aspires to have the largest theological tent possible.
We say we welcome anyone who is respectful of the diversity they find here. This means everyone, regardless of whether they believe in God or not, regardless of their ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender expression, age, and ability.
And, while we believe in our hearts we are warm and welcoming in these and other ways, if we were to take a look at the constraints of the comfort zone in our personal lives and within this community, where might they be? Where does our desire to avoid anxiety provide us with a measure of comfort and continuity, but cost us in greater emotional and spiritual growth?
As many of you know, the big event on my life radar screen next week is my wedding in Washington, DC to my partner of 18 years Gail. We’re getting married on Friday, December 13th, which if I were superstitious might be enough to create some anxiety.
We’ve already had a few “bad luck” moments – a caterer that cancelled at the last minute and checks that got lost in the mail. The most recent was finding out this past Wednesday that the children’s Christmas pageant set will be set up and prominently displayed at the front of the All Souls Church Sanctuary . . . precisely where Gail and I plan to gather with 20 family members and friends. I’m told it’s a painting on plywood of the little town of Bethlehem and the barn where Jesus lay . . . and that it measures 8 feet tall by 15 feet wide.
Now that Gail and I can laugh about it, we plan to make the best of it and think it will make for some unique photographs.
While these events have created a certain amount of anxiety of us, what perhaps is really propelling me out of my comfort zone about next week is simply the fact that we’re finally getting married. This will be the most intimate moment I have ever shared with my extended families and friends. And, I’m feeling anxious about my own anticipated vulnerability even as I imagine that it will be a transformative experience.
Ultimately, it may be that our faith in this transformative experience . . . in the transformative power of anxiety and discomfort . . . is what gives us the courage to step outside of our comfort zone. The life of Nelson Mandela, who died this past Thursday, provides us with a compelling example of this. Mandela, who led the emancipation of South Africa from white minority rule and served as his country’s first black president, was someone it seems who not only lived outside the comfort zone, but inspired others to do the same.
The extreme hardships that Mandela endured to end apartheid and the lack of bitterness he maintained throughout his struggle provide us with a look at a rare form of courage that I imagine leaves many us feeling a sense of admiration and gratitude.
It seems that he was someone who courageously embraced discomfort as a way of life and acted in spite of any fears he may originally have had because he had tremendous faith in the righteousness of the outcome.
About his willingness to abandon an easier life, Mandela wrote:
I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended.
How can we maintain our faith and hope as we confront opportunities in life that may be inviting us to step outside the comfort zone? What will help us feel our fears and move forward anyway, knowing that we will change and grow in ways that can be life-changing if we do?
I believe that a key component to finding the courage to step outside the comfort zone is to be in regular company with others who are attempting to do the same. Not all of us can lead the way to enormous change like Nelson Mandela did. But I suspect that many of us can find the courage to do so if we have the support and companionship of others.
The Cowardly Lion would likely have never found his courage to confront the Wicked Witch if he wasn’t trying to do so alongside the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and Dorothy – all of whom were also operating outside their own comfort zones and were gently, but persistently, nudging the Lion to do the same.
American humorist Peter Dunne wrote the responsibility of a good journalist to “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable” and I’ve heard it said that the same is true of ministry. If ours is a shared ministry at Northwest – and I believe that it is – then perhaps we might consider how we might gently but persistently nudge each other out of our comfort zones.
What might that look like? Where might our comfort zone actually be creating prison walls and impeding our spiritual and emotional growth?
These aren’t easy questions to consider, but I do believe that it’s possible to tackle them honestly and with compassion. I believe if we do our best to stay connected through our challenges, we will find that that our discomfort has the ability to transform who we are as individuals and as a faith community.
Stepping outside the comfort zone is where the magic can happen . . . and that it will make us stronger, wiser and more able to bring a message of hope to others who are struggling.
I’m counting on Northwest to continue to give me a good nudge every now and then for the sake of my own health and wholeness. I hope you’ll count on Northwest to do the same for you . . . and that together we’ll see that leaving the comfort zone may be scary, but it is also a magical and transformative journey.
May it be so. Amen.