by Glenn Koller
Delivered at Northwest Unitarian Universalist Congregation on August 24, 2014
Being a UU just ain’t for everybody. As I mentioned in a previous reflection, I was a delinquent in high school, but had a penchant for analytical thinking which, for me, did not meld well with my Catholic upbringing. As a young person I was regularly thinking of challenging questions such as: How does one balance an all-knowing god with humans having free will? Typically, these queries were met with statements about having faith. I later became disillusioned and a bit angry regarding my adolescent and early-adult years spent in an environment of absolutes and certainty.
I was married once before – to my high school sweetheart. She was a Mormon and we were married in a Mormon church. In my naivety, I thought: “Mormonism – well this should be a refreshing change.” The marriage and my interaction with the Latter Day Saints didn’t last long. So, I was once again religiously rudderless.
About that same time, a good buddy of mine with whom I worked at Savannah River Laboratory near Aiken, South Carolina bought a sailboat. In spite of the fact that I knew nothing about sailing or boats, he asked if I would help him and his girlfriend sail the boat from someplace in Florida to Savannah, Georgia. I agreed to “help.”
Now, I’m a pilot and don’t mind at all being tossed around in the air, but I learned on that trip that I get horribly, horribly seasick. Sometime between tossing cookies and begging for sweet death, we had a conversation about religion at the end of which he said: “You’re a Unitarian.” He introduced me to the Unitarian church.
Not to revert to my Catholic roots, but I thought I’d found heaven. Finally, I was free to question. I was free to deal with uncertainty. I was free of the “group think” aspects of traditional religions. I soon thought: “I wonder why everyone isn’t a Unitarian?”
Subsequent conversations with many folks have convinced me that the type of freedom I enjoy in the Unitarian Universalist movement can be perceived by most people as a type of purgatory and as anything but “freedom.” Psychologists will tell you that the happiest children are those who are not vying for control and who live under the direction of “supreme beings” – that is, parents – who expect the children to abide by the certain and clear rules. These kids are FREE to be kids and are happy.
I believe that for some folks, the rules, dogma, and certainty offered by more traditional religions perhaps afford them freedom to think less about controversial issues, freedom to be less concerned about the post-death experience because they are certain that an afterlife awaits them, and freedom from the stress of interacting with people who might be diametrically opposed to their views.
So, I believe that the UU movement is destined to remain RELATIVELY small because, like the UNhappy children, it’s been my experience that we UUs revel in the dearth of rules, we cherish the JOURNEY that is asking questions to which we likely will get no answers, we covet our right to UNcertainty, and we absolutely love the diversity of our membership. Being a UU – it just ain’t for everybody.